I am the Loser

History is written by the victors—

But is there a winner of a breakup?

The vanquished, broken on the floor;

The triumphant, beaming on the surface?

The sun rises, signaling a new dawn.

Its light catches my battle scars,

My weathered armour,

My blood-soaked cloak.

I step forward, then glance back:

A budding love,

Stolen kisses,

A thousand good mornings,

A thousand good nights,

A thousand whispered I love yous.

I stop.

Limbs numb,

Lungs falter,

Tears stream,

A blank mind filled with what could have been.

A thousand dreams,

Promises unfulfilled.

A life so certain—

Now certainly lost.

Yet I keep walking.

Not just a loser, but also a survivor.

Time has etched its mark:

Eyes creased with grief and laughter,

A face weathered by growth and love.

A thousand lessons,

Painfully won.

I loved.

I lost.

And I won too.

I hope we both did.

---

BTS: I hear of exes trying to one-up each other post-break up, the photos of their fitter bodies, stories of travel to global places, and smiling faces without a hint that they received an ominous "We need to talk," text in the middle of the afternoon one day. This outward competition obscures the pain of loving a loved one, a confidant, a best friend. No one comes out of a breakup unscathed. It's not clean cut of who is the winner, who is the loser, because everyone lost and everyone won, even though it's hard to see in the initial aftermath.

The words for this piece came out quickly during a gym session, but finessing it took several months. How this story came together shows how inspiration can catch you anywhere, anytime, and the work that you put into finishing the creation can be a slog sometimes, especially when it comes to poetry, at least for me. I'm lucky that I had the help of two friends so that I can finally complete this piece.

Icon created by Freepik - Flaticon